Our Last Summer
by AidenM
Summary: "It's not fair Renji! How can you pretend like this isn't happening? Its almost like you don't care!" "Damn it Ichigo! I do care! I am scared shitless right now! I know that our next kiss could be our last! But the only thing that scares me is that when I die, you will be here alone! I don't want to think about that! Lets just do this one day at a time, ok?" "Ok."
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach! If I did the anime would still be going, and it would be more adult...  
Warnings for this chapter include: yaoi, mature content, nudity, adult language, mpreg (not fantasy) tragedy, character death, drug use, male/male union ceremony.  
If these things do not suite your likings, dont read. Viewer discretion is advised!

SoundTrac: Broken by Seether ft Amy Lee

Our Last Summer

by: AidenM

Looking back on it now, I still think we made the right decission. When we first got the news, we were devistated! We had just confessed our love for one another and had finally gotten our friends and family to accept us. It was the summer before our senior year when we recieved the news. It wasnt fair really... How can a young vibrant teenage boy be told he has a debilitating disease that will give him only a few months left to live? With no cure, and no treatments? That was what was going through our minds when they told Renji he had stage 4 T-Cell Lymphoma.

This was our story...


	2. The Big News

The Big News

We were sitting underneath the biggest cherry blossom tree on the campus. My head leaned back against his broad strong shoulder, and his arms wrapped around my waist. Random people walked by and gave us different looks, but no one said anything. We were happy. Not a care in the world. Today we were discussing what clubs we would join for our last year of school and what colleges we were looking into.

"Hey Ichi, how about we just stay with soccer club? I mean its going to be our last year and we are co-captains.."

Renji was so laid back and simple. Most people thought he was ignorant because of his loud mouth and short fused temper. Surprisingly enough he was the number three student in our class. I only joined soccer to be with Renji. Never imagined I would be so good at it.

"Yeah, Ok Renj. Well we better get going, cant be late for our last day of school!"

We both laughed as we gathered our bags.

"Hey babe, I'll race ya to the entrance!"

He took off with a loud whoop and I laughed and told him he was a cheater. Before i could even begin to run I looked up and my heart plummeted. Renji was down on the ground jerking and screaming in pain. I ran to his side and pulled his head into my lap.

"Renji!? Whats wrong? Are you hurt? Someone call 9-1-1!"

Renji had stopped moving and his eyes rolled back in his head. His heart rate was low and his breathing was almost nonexistent. By this point I was screaming out to him. He couldn't hear me. He couldn't respond. I rode with him in the ambulance to the hospital and was waiting outside the E.R when our parents arrived.

"Oh God Ichigo! Is he ok? What happened? Did Renji get hurt?"

"I don't know Abarai-san..."

Before I could respond to her the doctors came out to talk to us.

"Hello everyone. My name is Dr. Retsu Unohana, cheif neurologist of Karakura University Hospital. I was called in by the E.R doctors. First off, which of you is the boy's parents?"

"I am Renji's mother. But he and this young boy here are a couple so anything you need to say can be said in front of everyone."

"Very well. Your son is fine. He had a mild seizure. He is awake and alert. There appears to be no lingering effects, however we are going to admit him to run some tests to determine what caused his seizure. Now I need to ask has this ever happened before? Or does your son have any history of medical problems?"

"Im sorry to interrupt doctor but may I go in and see him?"

"Certainly young man. He is in bed B-1 first bed on the right."

I practically ran as soon as the doors opened. I couldn't breathe until i was in his arms again. My tears fell against his shoulder. When had i started crying?

"Renji, oh God! Baby I was so scared! You weren't moving or breathing..."

"Ichi, calm down its ok! Im alright. The doc says it was probably just from the stress of graduation and the up coming entrance exams. They are going to keep me over night to run some tests and will release me tomorrow."

I just nodded and kept my face buried in his neck. When his mother came in she cleared her throat and I looked up at her.

"Renji, I'm glad to see you are ok. I have to get home before your father and the boys so I can tell them whats going on. Ichi, if you come by the house later I will have Renji's overnight bag ready and waiting. You both have my cell number. If anything happens call me. I dont care what time. I leave him in your capable hands Ichi-chan!"

I smiled and thanked her then told her I would come by and get his things when he went for his tests. After she left the nurses came in and prepped him for transport.

"We are going to take Renji for his first round of testing. When he is done he will be brought to room 324-A on the third floor west wing. It will be the first door on the left as you exit the elevators."

"can you tell me how long he will be? I need to go by and pick up some stuff and grab something to eat."

"Sure hun. He will probably be gone for about two hours give or take."

"Ok. Renji, me and dad are gonna go get some food then. I will drop by your house and get your stuff. Do you want me to grab anything specific?"

"Yeah grab my laptop and phone charger. Oh and grab my p.j's too. My favorite ones that you got me last christmas. Oh and a couple boxes of my strawberry pocky."

"Haha! Ok.. I love you. Be good for the nurses. I left mine and your mom's cell numbers with the nurses station. If something happens call me!"

After reassurance from the nurse, and a kiss from Renji, I was out the door. About an hour and a half later, I was waiting for Renji to get back to his room. one of the nurses came in to talk to me.

" Are you Ichigo?"

" Yes mam."

"Hi there! My name is Isane and. I will be Renji-kun's nurse. Now when they bring him in I will need to have you leave the room for a few minutes so we can get him settled and get his chart in order Then you will be allowed to come back in. Normally when we have a minor there has to be a parent or guardian present but, i spoke with his family and they said that you have their consent to stay in their stead. The administrator accepted this as well. I will bring in a cot later for you as well as some blankets and pillows. Can I get you anything? Or do you have any questions?"

"Not at this time no."

15 minutes later the transport people came in with Renji and I stepped out into the hall to wait. Just a few minutes later and the nurse let me back in.

"Ok. Renji is all set. One of his tests was a bone marrow scraping which is very painful. He is asleep right now but he should be waking up soon. If you need anything just push the call button."

I nodded and let the rails down on one side. I carefully laid down on the bed next to Renji and placed my head on his chest to listen to his heart beat. We lay there like that for what felt like an eternity before I felt him wake up. I sat up slowly and looked at him.

"Hey bright eyes.. How are you?"

He smiled sleepily at me.

"Im fine babe. My leg hurts some but I will be fine. Has the doctor come by yet?"

About that time there was a knock at the door. I got up and moved to the chair.

"Come in..."

"Oh, good to see you awake so quickly Mr Abarai. My name is Dr. Ryuken Ishida, and you know my colleague Dr. Unohana. Are your parents here?"

"Umm no doc they are not. I have three younger siblings and one of them has down syndrome. They left instructions for everything to be left with Ichigo so that he can let them know. Is something wrong?"

"Well normally we would not allow this since your both minors but in this case I will allow it. We got the results back on your lab work. Theres no other way to tell you this so we will just come right out and say it. Mr. Abarai, you have a disease called T- Cell Lymphoma. Unfortunately it is in the final stages so there is no cure. We can treat the symptoms as they come up but other wise there is nothing we can do... Do you have any questions for us?"

"Just one... How long do. I have doc?"

"Best case scenario, 6-8 months. We can give you radiation therapy that will slow the progression down some to buy you more time but the side effects will be just as fatal to you."

"Ok... So what does all this mean exactly? I mean, what will happen to me?"

"Well, at first it will only be minimal. You will get tired easier, you will have difficulty maintaining stamina. As the disease progresses through out the months your health will begin to deteriorate, your muscles will break down you will become weaker and weaker. You will loose control of your motor skills, speech will become difficult over time. You will loose your apatite, your muscles will completely atrophy until you can no longer care for yourself. In the final stages your organs will begin to fail until you can no longer breathe or control your own bodily functions... You will be in a great deal of pain in the final months.. I would recommend your family look into hospice care or if you prefer to be at home in your final stages, end of life home care. I will give you time to contact your parents and let you all discuss your options. I have put in your discharge orders as well as written you several prescriptions to have filled. You can have them filled in the pharmacy downstairs."

A/N: Ok since it is against the rules to post a chapter that is just an authors note, i am posting this here. This chapter is dedicated in loving memory of my dear friend from our days of mmDOTorg. You guys probably knew her as Hishiko-dono but to me she was anechan. On 02/20/2014 She slipped into a coma. I got a phone call from her family telling me that they stopped life support. She was pronounced late this afternoon ( american time zones) She was a good friend and a great authoress. She will be missed.


	3. Aftershock

Aftershock

The doctors left the room to begin Renji's discharge. I literally threw myself into his arms and sobbed. I cried so hard and for so long, by the time his parents showed up i could not even move my head. Renji told them exactly what the doctors had told him.

"Look, I know what must be going through your guys head but don't. It's not an option. I have spent the last 17 years with you guys. I have only been with Ichi for a very short year. I am going to spend whatever time I have left with him."

"Renji! Don't say that to your parents..."

"No Ichigo. Its ok really. He is right. We would rather him have his remaining time here be filled with happiness. And we know being with you makes him happy. I know we were against your relationship at first, but now, I am glad my son chose you. Now the paperwork has been signed and Jei-Lynn is having the meds filled. Why don't you and I take Renji to the car?"

I nodded... I still had tears running down my face. We all go into the car. I was practically glued to Renji still crying into him.

"Ichi, please stop crying baby. I know this is hard for you baby, but we can't spend every minute crying over this. It wont make it any less true, or make it go away..."

"It's not fair Renji! How can you pretend like this isn't happening? Its almost like you don't care!"

"Damn it Ichigo! I do care! I am scared shitless right now! I know that our next kiss could be our last! But the only thing that scares me is that when I die, you will be here alone! I don't want to think about that! Lets just do this one day at a time, ok? That way there will be no regrets! I don't want your final memories of me to be filled with nothing but pain and sadness. I love you Ichigo. No I dont want us to pretend that this isnt happening, because we both know it is."

I nodded my head. He was right, as usual. He put his arms around me.

"Hey dad , Im going to have dinner with Ichigo and probably stay over tonight. Tell Shuuhei I wanna talk to him tomorrow. Don't tell him anything! I will explain everything to the kids... "

We were dropped off outside the clinic. Renji held me close and kissed the top of my head.

"Ichi, I wanna talk to your dad alone for a minute. Why don't you go talk to the girls and let them know I will be staying. You know how Yuzu gets when unexpected guests show up for dinner!"

"Heh.. Yeah ok. I love you Renji. I will never leave you."

I watched as he went into the clinic. Knowing full well he was going to tell my dad what the doctors had said...

-(POV RENJI)-

I walked up to Isshin's office and knocked on his door.

"Its open!"

"Dr. Kurosaki, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure Renji... Since when are you so formal with me?"

"I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things really. First of all, i wanna ask for your permission to marry Ichigo. I know this is sudden and. I know that because of laws it wouldn't be a legal or actually binding marriage, but I have a feeling when i tell you why I want to do this now maybe you will understand..."

"Renji, this is a very big decission son. You know I have nothing against you dating my son but your still so young! Marriage is a huge commitment..."

"I understand that sir, but I need you to understand. I love your son more than anything. The thought of leaving him behind kills me. When I think about the future... Well what little of it we will have together... It almost makes me rethink this and stop. But I cant leave him with regrets and what if's..."

"Renji, why don't you explain to whats going on. If you love my son as much as you say you do, then I will give you my full support and my blessings. But I need to know son... What is it and how long do you have left with Ichi?"

"Dr. Ishida called it T-Cell Lymphoma. He said its already in stage four. He said anywhere from 4-8 months give or take... Please understand why I want to do this... Please! For the first time in my life I am afraid to die. I dont want to leave him! If i had a choice..."

For the first time since getting the news, I let myself cry. Isshin put his arms around me and rubbed my back and just let me cry. I could never let Ichi see me like this.

"I do understand Renji. You have my complete blessings son. When would you like to do it?"

" As soon as possible sir, for obvious reasons. I want it to be simple and small. Just family. Then I would like to take him to a cabin my family has for as long as we can stay there together. I know we are still probably too young to live alone, but I want to keep him with me as long as I can."

"Of course Renji. Lets have the ceremony here tomorrow evening. I will have something for the two of you to take with you. Now we better get inside so you can propose properly...

-(POV ICHIGO)-

I looked up as Renji and my father entered the living room. I had been sitting on the couch between my sisters. He walked over and kneeled in front of me and took my left hand in his.

"Ichi, I know we have only been together for a short amount of time. I also know that were are both still young. I love you, more than you could ever know. I fell in love with you the day we first met, and I swore to myself that if I ever managed to get you to go out with me, I would never let you go. I still feel that way Ichi and I hope you feel the same way. Marry me Ichigo. We only have a short amount of time, and i want to spend every last second I am given with you. I know we cant be legally married but we can combine our families with a ceremony. I already spoke to your dad and he gives his blessing. All thats left is for you to say yes. So Ichi- baby what do you say? Will you marry me?"

I looked to my dad who smiled sadly at me and nodded his head. Tears began to once again well up in my eyes as I look to my sisters. They beamed brightly and nodded both on the verge of tears themselves. I looked at Renji unable to stop the fresh tears from falling.

"Yes. Yes Renji I will marry you. I love you so much and the thought of not getting to grow old with you does hurt, but getting to be joined with you and have our own family eases that pain. But I dont think we should wait. We may not have tomorrow. I know I have you now and I want to take advantage of that. Unless we have to wait until tomorrow..."

"Boys, if you will allow me to make some phone calls we can do this tonight if you like."

"Thank you Isshin. We will do this however Ichi wants us too. I just need to make a trip into town to pick up something and I need to talk to my parents. I will call my brother to come get me. Don't give me that look I will be fine. You need to get ready and help everyone out here. I will only be gone a few hours, and them I will be back and we can get married. Ok?"

"Ok. Just be careful. Call me if your going to be longer than you think. I love you, come back to me..."

"I love you and I will. I will be back as soon as I am done. Be ready because I am bringing the whole Abarai crew with me."

With that he called his brother and waited till he arrived then they left. I went with my dad and sisters to get everything ready.

-(POV RENJI)-

"Renji... I think you need to talk me. Mom and dad would not tell me what going on with you and now your telling me you and the berry are getting married? If your gonna die Renji just tell me. I can handle it ya know. But yes little brother i will stand with you."

"Yes Shuu... I am dying. I hame something called T-Cell Lymphoma. I might have 6 months left maybe more maybe less. I want to spend as much time as I have left while I can. "

"Okay. Well... Shit Red. Your mind's made up then. Well if your going to do this then lets do it right. Your going to need rings, a suit, let me handle mom and dad. Heres the keys to the cabin and the jeep. We'll stop and get groceries when i take you guys up there."

"Thanks for understanding Shuu. I knew you would."

We stopped off at a jewelry store first, then went by Esquires to rent me a suit. I went home to shower and change and pack my clothes to leave. When I cam down stairs my mother braced me. She was crying but I could tell she was happy with my choice.

"You always were brave Renji. Im so proud of you."

"We both are son, and we want you to know we support you. And we will all be there. You run along back and we will meet you there."

"Thanks guys, that means the world to us both. Before we do this, i want you guys to promise me that you will be there for Ichi when Im gone. Don't just leave him out. He is going to need everyones love and support to help him get through all this, and I wont be there."

"We promise sweetie."

Shuu came down and we loaded my bags into the car and headed back to Ichigo's house. I should have been nervous or scared... But truth be told, i was at peace.


	4. The Ceremony

A/N: Ok quick warning.. Same sex marriage and lemon in this chapter. Also my longest chapter by far. The next couple of chapters will be shorter just to warn you ahead of time.

This chapter is dedicated to my three reviewers! Chibi-tea-chan, Echo, and pheonixreal.

The Ceremony

-(POV Ichigo)-

I was dressed in a very nice black suit with a deep crimson shirt and black tie. My hair was its normal spiky disarray. My dad had called in my godfather Jyuushiro to perform the ceremony. My uncle Kiskue brought our family registry. As we were setting up some folding tables and chairs, Shuuhei's car pulled into the area designated for parking and i looked up and saw him and Renji both exit the vehicle. My heart stopped for the second time that day but for entirely different reasons. He looked amazing. His long red hair was pulled into a tight braid down his back. The suit he wore was black as well but his shirt brought a smile to my face... It was the same shade as my hair.

"Ok Renji I love you but orange is not a good color on you..."

"Whatever carrot top. I look good and you know it!"

For the first time today I felt relaxed and at peace. I allowed myself to laugh. We shared a hug and he held my hands in his.

"Are you sure your ready for this Ichi? I cant help be feel like I'm being selfish about this. I didnt even ask you what you wanted.."

"Renji, i want this believe me. This was something i wanted for us in the future, so doing it now considering whats going on makes no difference to me."

We held each other for a while until his family arrived. Everyone stood around taking pictures and smiling. A soft rumble of light conversation drifted through the wind. Yuzu had spent most of the late afternoon making finger sandwiches and tea for all the guest. Just as the sun was beginning to set we began the ceremony.

"Ladies and gentlemen. If you would all kindly take your seats. Today we are all here to both celebrate a union, and give our love and support to these two brave young men. We all know the reasons behind this spontaneous occasion, so we will skip that part. Now this ceremony will not be conventional by any means. The couple will exchange vows that they themselves have written, exchange rings, and sign their family registries accordingly. Now gentlemen, please begin with your vows. Renji-kun you start."

Renji thanked Jyuushiro for his kind words and introduction then took my hands in his. I could already tell I was going to cry again but thats ok. He would to.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, you started off my rival. First it was academics, then it was sports, but no matter what you always stood by my side. I had always knew I loved you even when I was to stupid to admit it even to myself. We fought many battles side by side through out the years. We fought the world it seems for the right to be together, and it seems as though that battle is still left unsettled. Though my time with you has been shortened, my love for you has not. From this point on until I draw my final breath of life, you hold my heart, my soul, and my very being with you. When I am gone from this world know this; I will always stay by your side. My love will never die. You are my world Ichigo, and now you will be my partner, my lover, my best friend. So with these vows I pledge to love only you until I must leave you."

The tears were falling freely at this point. I almost could not recite my own vows.

"Abarai Renji, you called us rivals at the beginning, but I never saw it that way. I always tried to best you so that you would notice my feelings for you. I have loved you since the very day we first met. You were there for me during some of the hardest times in my life. You held me when my mother died, you gave me the courage to stand up for our relationship, and now you give me strength to stand beside you. I will be with you until the very end. I will never leave your side no matter bad it gets. Love can conquer all evils, and i firmly believe that. Our time maybe limited, but i will cherish each new day we have together so that when you do have to leave me, i will have them to look back on and remember our love. You are my world, my heart, and my soul. I love you Renji, now and for evers. So with these vows. I pledge to love only you until you leave this world. I also pledge to love and care for you until you take your last breath."

There was not a dry eye around as Renji took me in his arms. He could not even keep the tears from his own eyes. Uncle Jyuushiro stood before us and asked for the rings from Shuuhei. We were given each others rings. We exchanged rings, then we shared our first kiss as a married couple. Both family registries were laid before us and we signed our new names. "Ichigo Kurosaki-Abarai" and "Renji Abarai-Kurosaki". Then we faced our combine families and bowed in a show of respect and acceptance.

We didn't stay for the party, and everyone seemed to understand. We said our goodbyes and I promised everyone that when the time came they would be notified so that they could be there to say goodbye and see him off to the afterlife. My dad loaded my stuff into Shuu's trunk and we left. We drove for probably an hour before we arrived in front of a beautiful cabin. It was the perfect size for us. Standing there waiting for us was Renji's father and a realestate agent.

"Glad you made it safely. Renji, Ichigo, this is Kuchki Byakuya, he is the man who sold us this cabin. He is here for your signatures so that the house can be put into your names."

"Thanks dad! Oh wow.. This is.. Thank you.."

We signed the papers and were given new keys. Renji's dad hugged us both and informed us the kitchen was fully stocked thanks to my dad and sisters. Shuuhei helped us carry in our things and gave us both a hug before congratulating us then leaving. I was now very nervous. Why you ask? That was simple. We were alone. For the first time. As a newly married couple. Renji seemed to sense my unease and took me into his arms.

"Don't be afraid Ichi. We don't have to do anything your not ready for. If it helps, Im nervous too. I've never been with anyone before because. I wanted to wait for you. I may not be very good at it, but I am willing to try. I cant promise you that it wont hurt, but I can promise that I will try so it wont hurt too much. I love you Ichi, even if we never..."

I wouldn't let him finish that statement. We kissed until the need for oxygen out weighed the need for each other and pulled apart. He understood what i couldn't voice. He lifted me up into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carefully walked us into the master suite upstairs and gently lay me down on the large bed. We kissed again this time it was slow, deep, and passionate. His tongue ran across my bottom lip and I gasped letting him inside. His tongue danced with mine for a while before tracing every reachable surface of my mouth. We pulled apart when our lungs began to burn, panting heavily.

"Are you sure you want this Ichi? I will stop when ever you tell me to."

To answer his question I took off my jacket and removed my tie. I looked up at him from beneath my bangs and took hold of his hand. I brought it to the growing bulge in my trousers and gasped then moaned when gently applied pressure and rubbed me through the material.

"Does that answer... Ahh hah... Your question?"

He flashed me his devil's grin that always made me weak in the knees. He pulled his hand away from my crotch and began to slowly unbutton my shirt. Wherever new skin was exposed he placed an open mouthed kiss and soft nip. My breath caught in my throat as the now unbuttoned shirt hung loosely at my shoulders and his lips and teeth latched onto my left nipple. The pleasure was so intense, i cried out. I arched into his touch. His fingers left blazing trails across my oversensitive skin. For someone who had never done this before he sure was talented. He started undoing my pants so I sat up a bit and started undressing him. We both stood up to take off our socks, pants and underwear. This wasnt the first time I had seen him naked. I mean we were on the soccer team together, but it was the first time seeing him fully erect, and dripping precome. I couldnt take my eyes away from the sight.

"Renji... I want to... Can I..."

I looked down at my feet to hide the blush I knew was there he smiled at me knowingly and pulled me down to him he lifted my head and gave me a chaste kiss before nodding his head in understanding.

"Come here Ichi. I know what you wanna try and Im fine with it, but I need to get you ready first. So lay down here beside me on your back and spread your legs for me. Now quit blushing baby, it turns me on even more."

I watched him reach into his over night bag from the hospital and pull out a bottle of strawberry scented lube. I had to giggle. He has had that fascination with strawberries since before we ever met. I did as he told me just as he was settling between my legs. I watched his eyes roam my body and instead of feeling embarrassed, I felt heat spread in my abdomen. When his eyes reached my erection he licked his lips and groaned when i shifted and he caught sight of my entrance.

"This might be a little cold Ichi..."

He squirted some of the lube onto his fingers then lowered them down to my entrance as soon as he touched it I gasped and tensed as I felt him try to slip a finger inside. He stopped a moment looking like he was in thought then he flicked his chocolate covered cherry eyes to mine and leaned down. While holding my gaze he stuck his tongue out, and licked the tip of my erection.

"Oh... Renji!"

Quite happy with his reaction he opened his mouth and slowly engulfed the head into his hot wet cavern. Oh it was heaven. I didnt even noticed when he managed to get a finger inside me until he stuck something in me that almost made me come on contact.

"Oh shit! Renji..."

"You want me to do it again babe?"

I just nodded. He thrust his finger dead on with my prostate and I almost come up off the bed. He went back to licking and sucking my cock and continued doing so until he had three fingers thrusting in and out of me and I was just a whining moaning mess.

"You ready Ichi baby? You still wanna try it?"

"No.. Just want... Nngh... Ughn ah hah... Just want you Renji... Pease.."

"Fuck baby when you say my name like that I would kill just to hear it again..."

He climbed up my body and kissed me softly while he coated his own turgid length in the lube then positioned it at my entrance.

"Ok baby, his might hurt a bit. I am sorry if it does but remember to stay relaxed and the pain will go away quickly. If it hurts too much and you wanna stop just tell me ok?"

I nodded my head and wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. Slowly and carefully he pushed the head past the first ring of muscle, then stopped. He waited a moment before thrusting completely in and then stopped as i cried out in pain.

"Baby! Ichi I am so sorry! Shuu said it would hurt less if I did it all at once. Im gonna pull out this is too much.."

"No... Renji please don't. Im fine now. It only stings a little. Please don't stop I want this too!"

Renji nodded and kissed me again. He waited for a while until. I shifted my hips and cried out again.

"Oh shit.. Move please!"

Thats all he needed to here. He started off with long shallow thrusts each one angled just where it would slide across my prostate.. We kept the slow pace up until. I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out for him to go faster, deeper, and harder. He moaned loudly but obliged. All that could be heard through out the cabin was our mutual cries of intense pleasure. Suddenly I felt like. I was about to explode...

"Renj... Oh by the gods Renji... Please... Im gonna.. RENJI!"

"Ohfuckinghell... ICHIGOO!"

We lay there panting hard reeling in the aftershocks of our mutual orgasms. He finally pulled out and collapsed on the bed next to me and pulled me onto his chest with his arms around me. I felt him shift the covers around us and place a soft kiss to the top of my head. Before sleep imprisoned me, I whispere and heard repeated...

"I love you.. Forever and always.."


	5. Good Days

Good Days

I think it hurts worse to remember the good days. Especially from the very beginning. Looking back on it now they seemed misleading. The first morning after our wedding night, Renji was his normal self. We decided to forgo summer soccer practices in order to utalize the limited amount time that we had together. We woke up that morning to a phone call. It was from my dad. Apparantly Yuzu and Karin wanted to stay in touch with us. Renji answered the call.

"Sure Isshin. No problem put them on. Hey girls! Aw. I miss you guys too. I know, no Ichi is still asleep right now. We were up unpacking and getting settled in pretty late last night. Haha no I didn't let Ichi cook dinner last night. Yes the kitchen is still safe Kar… Alright girls well I am going to let you go and grab a shower before your brother wakes up and beats me too it. I love you girls and I will have Ichi call you as soon as he wakes up. Alright girls. Bai bai."

"Haha love. I don't use up the hot water… Nor do I burn the food when I cook it."

"Jesus Ich! You scared the shit out of me! And Yuz said you burned the food not me! Hehe… And you don't use up the hot water but we will together this morning…"

He took my hands and lead me into the bathroom. After a not so quick romp in the shower, we decided to go down to the lake. We took the phones with us anytime we left the house just in case. Renji was sitting on the end of the pier with his feet in the water holding my hand. We sat and talked for a long time about everything and nothing at the same time. Around lunch time we made our way inside and I made sandwiches for us. Renji only ate about half his but we did have a large breakfast so it didn't shock me much.

While I was waiting for Renji to come out of the bathroom I remembered something from the doctor told my mom when I was a kid. I smiled brightly and grabbed my phone and went out on the patio. I dialed my doctor's number.

"Yes hi, This is Ichigo Kurosaki. I need to get in to see Dr. Kyouraku please. Umm as soon as possible. No I just need to schedule a time to restart my shots. Yes I will hold for him. Hey Shunsui, I was wondering if its too late for my shots? What?! Really… So then what are my chances… Wow… No no that's great news actually. Yes its what I want. When do I need to come in for my next shot? Ok… No I don't want to say anything to him about it because I don't want him to get upset in case he wont be there for it. Yeah. I understand. Well lets just wait and see what happens… Ok we will stop by there when I drop him off with Dr. Ishida. Alright thanks Shun. Yeah tell Jyuushiro I said hi and be sure to thank him for me. Love you guys. Bye!"

I walked back inside to hear Renji screaming from the bathroom. Thinking the worst I burst through the bathroom door to find him crouched on the counter pointing at a little grass snake and screaming like a girl. Once my heart began beating again all I could do was laugh and cry. I laughed because it was damn funny to see a 6'4'' 19 year old man crouched on a tiny counter and screaming like a girl over a harmless grass snake. I cried because I was so relieved.

" Damn it Ichi! It's not funny! You know I'm scared of snakes…"

"Oh Im sorry Renj… I heard you screaming and thought you were hurt. You should see what I am seeing right now you would be laughing too."

I reached down and picked up the little snake and showed him to Renji.

"See he is harmless. Cant me more than a few months old poor little guy. Just trying to get back outside huh? Did that big red meanie hurt you? Come on I will take you back outside!"

Still laughing, I carried the snake outside and let him go in the grass. I felt Renji's strong warm arms wrap around me and I mine up to his.

"Its almost time for my appointment. Are you going with me?"

"Yes I am. And then when your done I have to go see my doctor for a check up and get my shots up to date."

He nodded and we went inside to get our stuff ready. We both have our drivers lisences so we can drive the jeep if need be. Renji said he was feeling a little tired so I drove us into to town. We went inside Dr. Ishida's office and waited for his turn. We didn't have to wait long.

" Renji go ahead and go on back. The doctor is waiting for you."

We looked at each other. Whats wrong now? We walked into the back to the room where the nurse told us to wait. A few moments after we got into the room, the doctor came in behind us.

"Hello Renji, Ichigo. First of all congradulations on your marriage. I think that was a very good idea. Renji before we do anything else I need you to sign these forms. You two read over them right quick. If you have any qustions don't hesitate to ask. This is Yamada Hanatarou, he is the offices lawyer. He will answer your questions about the forms as well as provide notary for authentication. "

We sat down with the lawyer and got all the paperwork finished up. The papers werea medical power of atorney, medical will, DNR , and treatment consents. Standard papers for terminally ill patients. Once the lawyer left to file the documents, the doctor returned. He looked unhappy. My stomach lurched.

"Well, I have somegood news and some bad news to give you. The all the test results came back and there is a minute chance we may can stop the progression of the disease to give you more time. The downside is there is the same chance that the surgery will leave you imobile and bedridden. The bad news is without the surgery at all your life expectancy will decrease. Without it you go from 6-8 months down to the 4-6 months."

We looked at each other and nodded silently.

" Doc, with all do respect I will take my chances with the 4-6 months. Whether my time is less or more wont matter if the outcome is still the same. I will cherish what time I have with my new husband making as many memories with him as I can."

The doctor seemed pleased with Renji's decission. We went over his test results and then left. I looked at Renji and could tell he was exhausted.

" Renji, my appointment will only take a few minutes. Do you want to just wait here for me?"

"Yeah babe if you don't mind. Im feeling tired now."

"Alright Renji. Well his office is right next door so I am going to go ahead and walk over there. You stay here and rest. If you need me just go over to the main desk and they will come get me. I love you Renji."

"I love you too Ichi. I will be fine for a little while. I can use this time to call and update everyone."

I walked into Shunsui's office and was ushered strait to the back. The nurse drew my blood and left for the lab. As soon as she was out of the room, Shunsui came in.

"Lets give it a few minutes for the lab results and then we will go from there. While we wait lets go ahead and get you checked out."

See there is something about me that no one but my dad and sisters know about me. I have a very special variation of a genetic mutation known as hermorphradite. On the outside I am completely male. I fully functioning male reproductive organs. The only problem is, is I shoot blanks. I could never get a girl pregnant. However, I also have internal female reproduction organs. That work.

A few minutes later the nurse rushes in the results.

"Doctor, you should have a look at this…"

He took the paper and read it what had to be at least 5 times before he looked up at me and smiled.

"Well Ichi. You wont need to get a shot today…"

"Ok, so whats up with my results?"

"You might want to sit down Ichigo. We ran a new type of test on you today. Well, Ichigo…"

I smiled from ear to ear. I hugged Shunsui and ran out the door to the car. I got in and drove us home. The whole way home, Renji kept on asking me what was going on. I just shook my head and smiled. I stopped at Pizza Hut on the way home. By the time we made it back Renji's energy had come back he was practically bouncing in his seat.

We made our way into the dining room and sat down at the table. Renji grabbed us some sodas from the fridge and then sat down beside me.

"Ok Ichi we are home. Now spill… The anticipation is driving me crazy!"

After serving the pizza, I looked at Renji.

"First ofall there is something that I need to tell you. Its not bad so smile. I never told anyone about this because its rather embarrasing. Do you know what a hermorphradite is?"

"Yes…"

"Ok well I am one. A very spacific type. I forget the word they have for my type but its very rare. I am a male. You know this for a fact. Well what you don't know is that on the inside, I am both male and female. I have fully functioning internal female reproductive organs. That's why I said along time ago that couldn't have kids. Well that was some what true. I just cant have kids with a woman…"

Realiztion hit him like a ton of bricks…

"You mean you… We…"


	6. Bad Days

Bad Days

Renji's first bad day came about a month after we found out was I was pregnant. He seemed to be feeling weaker as the days went on, some days not even strong enough to get out of bed. Then the next day he seemed fine. The worst of his symptoms happened while. I was away from the house. I had gone with Shuuhei to see the doctor...

Renji was laying on the couch to take a nap when a strong wave of nausea hit him. He jumped up to run but his legs were too weak to hold him so he collapsed to the floor. He ended up vomiting and messing himself because he could not make to the bathroom. He lay there crying for probably two hours before I got home.

"Renji, Im back. I was thinking udon for dinner tonight with misou soup... Renji? "

"In here... Ichi..."

I could here the pain and humiliation in his voice. I ran to. The living room and dropped down beside him.

"Oh God Renji! Im so orry! I knew I shouldnt have left you here alone... What happened?"

I helped him up off the floor and we walked to the bathroom. I got his close off and got him in the shower. Before I could turn the water off, he was slumped against me.

"Im so sorry that you have to do this for me Ichi... Im so pathetic right now. I cant even take care of myself. You should just leave."

"Renji, don't be like that! So your having a bad day. Its alright. I told you when we got married I would never leave you. If i left you now i would be the pathetic one! Now cheer up! I brought you a present!"

He held onto me as I dried him off then I sat him down on the toilet to slide his boxers onto his legs.

"You want your pants on babe or just the boxers tonight?"

"Just the boxers. Otherwise. I might not make it in time to the bathroom."

"I will call Dr. Ishida and see if there is anything we can do for the days when your feeling like this."

I helped him into bed and then moved the cd player to his bedside table, put a disc in and gave him his head phones.

"Put 'em in and I will push play."

He did as I told him and put in his earbuds. As soon as I hit play his eyes lit up for the first time that day.

"Is this... Wow.. Its so fast! Amazing..."

He pulled the earbuds out when the trac was through playing. I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed to finally be happy again. That is until i felt warm wetness on my shoulder. I pulled back at and looked at him and he had tears streaming down his face.

"Renji whats wrong? I though you would be happy to hear your baby's heart beat..."

"Ichi, don't get me wrong baby I loved hearing it. I just... I know I will never get to hold this baby. I will never get to sing him to sleep or tell him a bed time story. I wont be there to clean and kiss scraped knees or chase away the bad dreams... Its almost not fair Ichi..."

"Hey stop it right now! Look at me Renji. This baby is going to know who you are no matter what. He will know how wonderful you are and how much you love him even before he is born. I have an Idea. Each day I want you to write a letter to this baby, telling them how much you love them and tell them a story from your childhood. Then we will make a video diary of you reading stories and singing a lullaby. Then you will write a letter for each birthday and christmas. That way your child will always have something from you no matter what."

"God Ichi... Your so smart! I will do it. But only until I get too weak. Oh how I wish I had the strength to make love to you right now. Your so incredible baby. Your perfect Ichi. Don't ever let anyone say otherwise ok?"

I just blushed and nodded then hid my head in the junction of his neck and shoulder. He chuckled and put his arms around me.

"I promise I wont get like this again. I don't need to be adding to your stress and pain right now. Im just feeling sorry for myself and it needs to stop. I don't want you to leave Ichi but there will come a time when you wont be able to take care of me because of the baby. When that happens you have to promise me you will let some one come in here and help you ok?"

"Alright Renj, I promise. But until them I am going to ask Kiuske to do my checkup ups here as much as possible or I will need to get someone to site with you when I go to the doctors on your bad days. Now, enough sadness. Why don't you lay down here with me and get some rest. You may feel better after a nap."

We shared a sweet kiss and I lay with him until he fell asleep then I went into the kitchen and made myself something to eat. Then I picked up the phone and called Dr. Ishida.

"Yes, hello my name is. Kurosaki Ichigo and I am calling for Dr. Ishida please... Yes I will hold... Hello doctor. No i wanted to discuss with you what he talked about earlier in your office. Yes the weakness has begun. I came home to find him in the floor. Yes sir. Well I was wondering what some of our options for that are. I don't think he is ready for a catheter yet but. I know he will refuse diapers or a bedside toilet. I think for the time being maybe a urinal. No I wont be leaving the house again for awhile. I am going to try and get my doctor to make house calls. Oh could you? That would be wonderful. Oh, yes one more question. Do you know who I can get in touch with to have some one come and sit with Renji when he isn't strong enough to come with me? Perfect! Thank you doctor. No he hasn't mentioned any pain. Ok thank you I will. Alright bye bye."

Once. I hung up I went back to the bedroom to find Renji gone. He was in the bathroom on the floor hunched over the toilet. The other symptoms were beginning to show.

A/N: Ok! I received two reviews that. I could not reply to! So i will reply to them here. Yes the wedding scene was kid of rushed, but stop and remember, they don't really know how much time they have together and wanted to rush it. I will clean it up when I edit the chapters at the end. As for it feeling like a drama, it supposed to at first. Don't worry though the feeling will change over to a romance later. Yes. I have Ichi-chin as a crybaby in the first chapter. Thats to be expected. How would you be if you were just told the one person you loved most in this world was dying and there was nothing that could be done!? He is much stronger a character and it will show in the coming chapters. As for my guest reviewer, I worked as a patient care tech In home health hospice. I have seen what this very illness does to people. Thank you both for you constructive criticism and you kind words. I will apply what you have told me to better my chapters. Arigatou gouzaimastu!


	7. Pain

Pain

We define pain as a sensation one gets when met with certain situations i.e. a sprained ankle or a headache. To imagine what real pain is, for most of us anyway, is almost impossible unless we have experienced ourselves. Renji was about to experience that kind of pain.

We have hit marker three, aka, month three. Three out of five seven days are bad days for Renji now. If we leave the house for any length of time he is wheelchair bound and has to wear a surgical mask. Why you might ask? Because the medicine he is taking to fight the symptoms leaves him very open to illness and infection. He can only be outside for short periods of time, he cannot have long periods of exposure to direct sunlight, no fresh fruits or veggies. This type of restriction is called neutropenic precautions. Its beginning to take its toll on him.

He went with me to my doctors appointment this time. I am now three months into my pregnancy and Renji is at month three of his debilitating cancer. We did find out from Dr. Ishida last month that because of Renji's age and otherwise physical fitness, he was probably going to make it closer to eight months than the four they originally told us. It seemed he was right.

Renji decided to walk around in the hospital to try and build up some more strength in his legs. So he was slowly pacing next me on the way to Dr. Urahara's office. He was doing fine until we had to go up the stairs. He said he could handle it. I said he wasn't ready and to take the elevator with me. Big mistake.

"God damn it Ichigo! I am not fucking dead yet! Stop treating me like a damned baby and let me do this my damn way! Or just check me into the nearest nursing home and be done with me!"

"Fine Renji, you want to be an ass and get your legs broke! Climb the fucking stairs. But when you loose your balance and fall and break your fool self don't you dare expect me to pick you up! I know your not dead yet, and other day I would say go for it, but damnit Renji you have been complaining of being dizzy all day! Why is the room suddenly spinning?"

"Shit, Ichi!"

The next thing I know, I am waking up in the emergency room hooked up to monitors and IV's. I looked around for Renji and found him in a bed next to mine cursing a doctor over stitches.

"I don't give a shit about my damned head! Tend to him not me damnit!"

"Now now Renji-kun don't fuss. You could have a concussion. Ichi-chan is going to be fine... Oh see there all your loudness woke him up. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine... What happened to your head Renji?"

"I jumped between you and the floor when you fainted in the lobby. Hit my head in the process. Are you sure your ok?"

"Yes Renji, I'm fine. Kiuske, what happened to cause me to faint?"

"Well Ichigo, it seems you got a little too excited and got your blood pressure up to high. Everything seems fine now."

"What about the baby?"

"Well, thats the interesting thing now isn't it? Your condition is rare enough as it is Ichigo, but a pregnancy in people with your condition is even more rare. There is little known about these types so there is nothing to compare it to. It seems male pregnancies are quite different from normal female pregnancies. I assume you have noticed how much you are showing as compared to women..."

"Oi! Quit talking in riddles! My head already hurts ya jack ass! Just get to the point!"

"Renji! Stop being rude! But he is right Kiuske, get to the point."

"Yare, yare. Ok in basic terms, your gestation is faster than a woman's. Normal pregnancies tend to go for 48 weeks. Yours, will not however. Due to your body's chemical makeup, your full gestation is going to run about 36 weeks which means..."

Renji and I looked at each other. For a while no n spoke as Kiuske pulled out an ultrasound wand and spread the gel over my now fully extended abdomen. Renji spoke first...

"He could go into labor any day now..."

"Oh ho my redheaded friend. He is in labor now. Watch that monitor over there. See the little wavy lines going across the screen? Ichi-chin is having contractions. Would you like to see what is causing all this commotion before Ichi goes into surgery?"

We both look at the screen and our eyes widened and mouths gaped opened. There on the screen was two, not one but two, fully formed babies. Then the worst thing in history of bad things that could happened. I blacked out after hearing someone yell code blue.

It was several hours later when I woke up again. I was laying in a hospital bed in excruciating pain. I could not see Renji anywhere but I saw my dad and Kiuske talking at the foot of my bed... I tried to ask where he was but found I could not speak. I flailed my arms trying to pull whatever was in my mouth out.

"Ichigo, calm down. Do you know where you are?"

I nodded my head and pointed to the tube in my throat.

"We had to intabate you because your airways closed off due to an allergic reaction to some medicine you were given. If you give us just a moment Ichi-chan we'll take it out."

I waited and Kiuske pulled the tube out and gave me some water.

"Renji? Babies?"

"Well to answer the first question, Renji is on another floor. Once your fully awake we will take you to see him. The babies are fine. One boy and one girl. Completely healthy and fat mind you little monsters."

I smiled and closed my eyes. Moving around hurts.

"I wanna see Renji now. What happened to him?"

"Dr. Ishida is waiting for us now. I will let him explain before we go in to see Renji."

They helped me into a wheelchair and we went past the nursery. We walked down a long hallway to a set of heavy double doors marked "Isolation". An overwhelming sense of realization flooded my being. I knew in my heart that this would be The beginning of his end. How I wish I was wrong.

We met Dr. Ishida outside the doors and he had a very grim expression on his face.

"Good morning Ichigo. Now before we go in there are some things I need to tell you. First off, Renji will be discharged when you are. Second, things may seem a little scary at first but res assured this is only precautionary measures we are taking. When you leave you will be taking some equipment home with you. I advise you call someone to come in and help you care for him until your back up to full strength. I am not going to lie and tell you the worst is yet to come. He has been lying to the both of us when it comes to his own health. He is entering the final stages I'm afraid."

"I suspected this to be honest doctor. He has been more withdrawn and closed off lately. He also has stopped writing to the twins and making the videos. He hasn't been eating, he does not sleep anymore, and he has been more affectionate as of late. Not to mention his outbursts of anger and sadness. If you had to estimate, how much time would you guess?"

"No need for guessing. I would say a month to a month and a half. I would recommend having someone stay with the twins and you and Renji use what time you have left to make final arrangements and spend your remaining time with each other."

"With all do respect doctor, all of Renji's final affairs are taken care of. Our family will spend the last moments together. Renji deserves this time with his children while he still has it. They need this bonding time with him before he dies. And I wont take it from either of them. So if it can be arranged, I would like for us to be discharged so I can get my family home. Renji's brother has already agreed to come help me with the babies and Renji. I will call him to come get us. Dad you and the Abarai family will also be there with us for when the comes. I will call when that time is near."

The arrangements had been made while. I went in with Renji. The twins were brought in to be fed and bond with us. Renji sat and smiled weakly looking down at the blue bundle in his arms.

"He is going to have your eyes. But i can definitely see the Abarai family gene in this one. That nose is unmistakable."

"No lies there love! This little lady will have your smile and already has your wild temper... Another Abarai trait. But she will have your hair. They both will."

"Shuu, can you take him please. My arms are getting tired."

"Sure Renj. Have you guys named them yet?"

"Yep. You are holding R.J. And this little princess here is Nikkou. Fitting I think."

I looked at Renji who was already asleep. I choked back the tears. No, i was not going to do this. I made him a promise. I would stay strong and not cry until the very end. When he could no longer see the pain and tears in my eyes.

"Shuu, why dont you give him to me and get the car ready and bring it around. I think its time to get home."

"Yeah Ichi I think your right. Here ya go... Oh now don't fuss at me! Im just following orders 'lil berry. And you hime! None of that whining. "

Surprisingly enough, they actually quieted down. Shuuhei left to get the car and i climbed onto the bed beside Renji. Kiuske and my father came in and took the twins to the car. I got Renji.

"Renji, its time to go home love. The twins and Shuu are waiting in the car."

He slowly opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"Has anyone ever told you that you were beautiful? You look just like an angel Ichi. I love you so much. Lets go home now."

I told you earlier on that Renji would experience true pain... Well this is what I meant. We made it home and got Renji sat up in a hospital bed in the main room. On good days he would sit up and record videos for the twins and write more letters. He was no longer strong enough to hold them. So they would lie in the bed next to him on either side of his head. I always fed the twins while sitting on the bed next to him, so he could be included. He often would help me change their diapers and would make comic gagging sounds or laugh when RJ would pee on me.

Shuuhei stayed with us. He was there to tend to the twins while i helped Renji. I never knew this till later on but he took care of all three at night. This must have been when i was asleep.

-(Renji's Final POV)-

We have been home for three weeks now and i have never been happier nor more depressed in my life. I am so happy to be a father. I always dreamed of me and Ichi adopting kids after moving to America where we could legally get married. But out of such a tragedy, at least he will have a happy ending. He will get to watch our children grow up and have kids of their own.

The part that depresses me is knowing that my time is up. I will be leaving Ichigo soon. But i cant leave until i l know for sure that he will be fine and taken care of but most importantly, I need to know that he will be happy again. That he will find new love. He spends all his time making sure i stay clean and comfortable. I don't eat anymore and have refused a feeding tube. I no longer have the strength to lift my head even. But still he comes with the babies everyday and lets me be near them. They know me, even now.

Shuuhei has been a godsend for Ichigo. They have formed a deep friendship i have noticed. They have gotten closer these last few weeks. I can see the four of them out in the garden even now. Ichi and the twins are playing in the long grass, while Shuuhei mans the BBQ. They are laughing and sining silly songs. He looks so carefree, so happy.

Im glad. I feel my chest clench and my heart slows. Its almost time... I look up to see Ichi and Shuu grab the kids and run into the room. I can faintly hear my parents, Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin surround me. Everyone places a hand on me and tearful goodbyes and wishes of love in the afterlife pour over me. I feel no pain. The twins are on either side of my head pulling my hair. I smile faintly and reach a hand to Ichigo and my brother. Everyone else leaves. Its time.

"Ichi... Never forget how much i loved you. But dont shut out new love. Shuuhei, look out for Ichi and raise my family the way i wished to do so myself. Love them like your own but remember to teach them about me. I give my blessings to you both. Don't argue with a dying man. I left something for both of you on the bed. Dont forget to give the twins their letters...(*coughing*) and make sure to show them the movies we made. I love you both. Take care of each other... Goodbye Ichi.."  
-(Ichi POV)-

"Its ok now Renji. We promise. I love you too and i will never forget you. The twins will know you."

"I will miss you ototou. And i would be honored to look after Ichigo. I never could hide anything from you. I love you little brother, and i will never let your children forget you."

He smiled one last time and whispered "Thank you. I love you Rj, I love you Nikkou..." and then he closed his eyes and was gone.

A/N: This is not the end! Dont shoot me! Happiness and the big secret of who Ichi is talking to will be revealed! . damn vampire nurses! I have no more blood!


	8. Starting Over

Starting Over

Neither Shuuhei or I had the heart to tell Renji we were not together and probably never would be. Shuuhei was happily with someone else. A quite young man named Kira. Anyway, Shuuhei had become like a brother to me. Its been a year now since we said our goodbyes. The twins have become quite the handful. Tonight is there first birthday.

"Nikkou! Let go of your brother's hair! RJ put the grasshopper down and stop teasing your sister! Shuuhei please tell me your done in there!"

"Haha sorry Ichi, Im done. Ok midget one and midget two stop terrorizing your "mommy" and OW! Aww Nikki mommy hit me!"

"Bah mommy! No hit Chuu!"

Of course now all I can do is laugh. Its not like it bothers me when the kids call me that but Shuuhei knows better.

"Kira, come take care of your man before I decide he needs know what it feels like to be buried alive. Ok so we have at least twelve kids fourteen including our two. The cupcake cake is ready to be picked up, the movie is ready for... Oh hell..."

"Relax Ichi-nii. I already set it up. Lets go sit and watch it with them."

"Ok demons upstairs to the tv room! Shuu get your girlfriend and I will take my shadow. I also have their letters. We will start with those."

We sat down on the carpet each with a twin in our laps. I opened RJ's letter first and held it so he could see the picture of his daddy holding him at the hospital.

"Dada!"

I smiled brightly at Shuu.

"Ok you little devil lets see what Dada wrote for you.

Dear RJ,

Today you are one year old. I am sorry I could not be here with you today but I hope you know how much I love you. Someday you will understand why I couldn't be here with you. Look after your sister and be good for uncle Shuu and your mom.  
Happy Birthday big boy. I love you.

Daddy. "

I wiped the tears away from my eyes. It was still hard, but I knew that things would be ok. Shuuhei opened the letter meant for Nikkou.

"Alright Hime, its your turn..."

"Daddy!"

"Yes yes thats your daddy. You look just like him you know. Ok lets see what he wrote for you...

Dear Nikkou,

My little princess, today is your big day! Im sorry I cant be there to sing to you like when your will still little. You and your brother were the light in my darkest time and I will never forget that. I love you so much my little ray of sunshine. Look after your mom and brother. And don't listen to your uncle Shuu's crazy stories.  
I love you Sunshine.

Daddy."

"Ok, Kira push play."

-(Movie)-

"Hey guys! I miss you very much. I wish I could see you both right now and hold you in my arms. I hated having to leave you but I had to. It was time for me to go. I know that some day your going to have lives of your own and wont even remember me, but until then your still mine. I hope you are being good for your mommy. He was so brave and wonderful to bring you into this world. I love you both so much and I will miss you. Always remember that I am always in your hearts and you will always be in mine. Mind your mom and take care of each other. I love you both."

-(End Movie)-

The kids laughed and tried to hug the TV. Then they ran out of the room at the sound of the doorbell.

"Can I really do this Shuuhei? Am I strong enough to handle this alone?"

"Yes Ichigo, to both. The thing is you shouldn't be alone. You know he wouldn't want you to be alone. Its been a year Ichi. Its ok to move on now. The kids will start kindergarden soon. You will finally have a chance to do something for yourself."

"Yeah but when will I have time Shuu? I start my internship at the hospital soon. My days will be full as well as my nights! Im barely going to have time for myself let alone someone else!"

We were interrupted by Kira.

"Hey, the guests have arrived. And there is one that you HAVE to meet!"

We hear loud squealing and giggling...

"Nel! Nel! Stop! No kiss no kiss!"

"Aww! But I wuv you RJ!"

We laugh as we come down the stairs. As soon as me feet are firmly on the wood floor, I find myself looking up to a smiling face and green hair.

"Neliel! What have I told you about that! Your going to hurt someone you heathen!"

"Oh its alright... Really, Im used to this. Its how she greets me when I drop the twins off at DayCare."

I take the offered hand and am pulled off the floor. I look up and become instantly lost in a sea of greens and blues. I blink several times.

"Hey can you hear me?"

"Oh yes, Im sorry about that guess I was a little more dazed than I thought."

He looked up and our eyes truly met. Chocolate brown and ocean blue clashed in a raging storm. It wasn't until Shuuhei cleared his throat that the spell was broken ad we realized he was still holding my hand.


End file.
